1、我感觉你像两头猪，因为一头猪已经不能形容你的蠢。
1. I feel like you’re like two pigs, because one pig can’t describe your stupidity.
2、魅力的代表人物：康师傅。每天都有成千上万的人泡它。
2. The embodiment of charm: Master Kang. Every day, tens of thousands of people “soak” him.
3、大家好，我是国家一级退堂鼓表演专家。
3. Hello everyone, I am a national first-class retreat drum performance expert.
4、一路上有你，苦一点也愿意，苦很多免谈。
4. With you by my side, I am willing to endure a little bitterness, but not too much.
5、这世界上必有一个人，会对你不离不弃，如果现在还没有遇到，说明你没有逛过屈臣氏。
5. There must be someone in this world who will stick by you, and if you haven’t met them yet, it means you haven’t been to Watsons.
6、垂死病中惊坐起，我的包裹在哪里。
6. In my dying illness, I suddenly sat up, where is my package?
7、后来我爱上的每一个人都像你，全是傻逼。
7. Later, everyone I fell in love with was like you, all idiots.
8、今天就是520了，哪个250在我面前秀恩爱，我就用502封他嘴。
8. Today is 520, if any of the 250s show their love in front of me, I will use 502 to seal their mouths.
9、小时候肚子疼是正常的。现在肚子疼别人说你来月经了。
9. Having a stomachache as a child is normal. Now when people say you have a stomachache, they say you got your period.
10、听到老师说又要开始罚钱，我就知道是他工资花完了。
10. Hearing the teacher say that we have to start paying fines again, I knew it was because he had spent all his salary.
11、吃，我所欲也，瘦，亦我所欲也，二者不可得兼，我了个去也。
11. Eating is what I desire, and being thin is also what I desire, but I can’t have both, damn it.
12、脸乃身外之物，可要可不要，钱乃必要之物，不得不要。
12. Face is an external thing, it can be discarded, while money is a necessary thing, it must be obtained.
13、你身上有她的香水味，一闻就知道没我的贵。
13. You have her perfume scent on you, and I can tell it’s not as expensive as mine.
14、早知道找个男朋友这么难，我就定娃娃亲了。
14. If I had known finding a boyfriend would be so difficult, I would have arranged a child marriage.
15、原谅我盛装出席，手握水笔，眉头紧锁，奋笔疾书，只为帮学霸垫底。
15. Forgive me for dressing up, holding a pen, frowning, and writing furiously, all just to help the top student out.
16、我是奔跑的五花肉，我为自己带盐。
16. I am the running streaky pork, I bring my own salt.
17、世界上最不忠心的就是钱，说好的一起出门，然后它就不跟我回来了;最忠心的就是肉，奶奶的，怎么甩也甩不掉!
17. The most disloyal thing in the world is money, it promised to go out together, and then it never came back with me; the most loyal thing is meat, damn it, I can’t get rid of it no matter how hard I try!
18、朋友说第二个半价的广告单身狗表示很受伤，我说那是你们单身狗的事，我们单身猪表示吃两个正好。
18. My friend said that the “second half price” advertisement hurt single people, I said that’s your single people’s business, we single pigs think eating two is just right.
19、我一直以为空气是免费的，直到那天我买了包薯片。
19. I always thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
20、上课走了神，想知道老师讲到第几页，才发现周围的人页数都不一样!
20. I was daydreaming in class, and when I wanted to know what page the teacher was on, I found that the pages around me were all different!
21、意见一致，你说了算。意见不一致，我说了算。
21. If we agree, you have the final say. If we disagree, I have the final say.
22、我这辈子只有两件事不会：这也不会，那也不会。
22. In my life, there are only two things I can’t do: this and that.
23、天冷了，如果不能给我拥抱，就请给我买件外套。
23. It’s getting cold. If you can’t give me a hug, please buy me a coat.
24、虽然学霸的成绩让我目瞪口呆，但我的交卷速度绝对让学霸目瞪口呆。
24. Although the academic’s grades leave me speechless, my submission speed definitely leaves the academic speechless.
25、我觉得，孤男寡女的时候，女生说好冷是一种耍流氓的行为。
25. I think that when a man and a woman are alone, a girl saying she’s cold is a kind of hooligan behavior.
26、学校楼梯里装镜子就是为了告诉我们：人丑就该多读书。
26. The school installed mirrors in the staircase to tell us: if you’re ugly, you should study more.
27、上学的时候总想玩电脑，放假了只能对着电脑发呆。
27. When I was in school, I always wanted to play on the computer; now that I’m on vacation, I can only stare at the computer.
28、有些人，考试靠实力，有些人，考试靠视力，而我，考试靠想象力。
28. Some people rely on their abilities in exams, some rely on their eyesight, and I rely on my imagination.
29、高一学习的是傻币，高二不学习的是傻币，高三傻币都知道学习了。
29. Freshmen who study are fools; sophomores who don’t study are fools; even fools know to study in their senior year.
30、考完试以后对答案，优生会说：”卧槽，又错了一个！差生会说：”艾玛，又对了一个！
30. After an exam, good students say, “Damn it, I made another mistake!” while poor students say, “Oh my, I got another one right!”
31、有一种填空题叫完全不会，有一种选择题叫看起来都对，有一种计算题叫边做边流泪，有一种应用题叫做起来崩溃。
31. There’s a type of fill-in-the-blank question where I have no idea, a multiple-choice question where they all seem right, a calculation question where I cry while doing it, and an application question that drives me crazy.
32、考试最崩溃的时候是看到一道题，模糊的记得老师讲过，但清晰的记得我当时没听。
32. The most frustrating moment in an exam is when you see a question, vaguely remember the teacher mentioning it, but clearly remember that you weren’t listening at the time.
33、老师的经典谎话，无论好学生还是差学生，我都一视同仁。
33. The classic teacher’s lie: I treat good students and poor students equally.
34、我一失足成大瘸子，再回首又闪了腰。
34. I missed a step and became a cripple; when I looked back, I twisted my waist.
35、拜托不要叫他动脑子好不好。左脑全是水，右脑全是面粉，不动便罢了，一动全是浆糊。
35. Please don’t ask him to think. His left brain is full of water, and his right brain is full of flour. If he doesn’t move, it’s fine; once he moves, it’s all mush.
36、为什么关羽比张飞死得早？答案：红颜薄命呗。
36. Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: A beautiful face has a short life.
37、都是背了太多的心愿，流星才会跌的那么重，都是藏了太多的谎言，我们分手才会那么伤。
37. We’ve both carried too many wishes, that’s why the meteor falls so heavily; we’ve both hidden too many lies, that’s why our breakup hurts so much.
38、借朋友的车开，朋友说还的时候要给车加油。还车时，我冲车鼓了鼓掌。
38. I borrowed a friend’s car and was told to refuel it when returning it. When I returned the car, I clapped for the car.
39、逃课太多，一天想去上课，见到教授，教授惊讶地说，这么长时间不见，长这么大了。
39. I skipped so many classes that one day I wanted to attend, and when I saw the professor, he was surprised and said, “Long time no see, you’ve grown so much!”
40、结婚前我是你的天使；结婚后我还是，是天天被你使唤。
40. Before marriage, I was your angel; after marriage, I’m still your angel, but one who’s constantly ordered around by you.
41、考试就像得了病一样，考前是忧郁症，考时是健忘症，考后病情开始好转，拿回卷子时，心脏病就发作了。
41. Exams are like getting sick; before the exam, you have depression, during the exam, you have amnesia, and after the exam, the condition starts to improve. When you get your test paper back, you have a heart attack.
42、如果没有作业，没有测验，没有考试，没有家长会，我想我会很喜欢上学的。
42. If there were no homework, no quizzes, no exams, and no parent-teacher conferences, I think I would really enjoy going to school.
43、这世界上我只相信两个人，一个是我，另一个不是你。
43. In this world, I only trust two people: one is me, and the other is not you.
44、每次做作业做到很晚，脑子里就会出现两个小人，一个说算了别做了，另一个说好呀好呀好呀。
44. Every time I do my homework late at night, two little guys appear in my mind. One says, “Forget it, don’t do it,” and the other says, “Yes, yes, yes!”
45、希望你能拿着一袋子零食砸向我的脸，就是要这么简单粗暴的友情。
45. I hope you can take a bag of snacks and throw it at my face, just like that simple and rough friendship.
46、有人告诉我，这世上再也没有比爱情更复杂的东西了，我一本数学书摔在他脸上。
46. Someone told me that there is nothing more complicated in the world than love. I threw a math book in his face.
47、油条可能是单身汉发明的，两根紧紧纠缠的面条象征了他对爱情的美好渴望，然后被扔进了油锅。
47. Fried dough sticks might have been invented by a bachelor. The two tightly entwined noodles symbolize his longing for a beautiful love, and then they were thrown into the frying pan.
48、个人认为：滴滴打车之所以不叫滴滴打的，是因为后者太像唢呐。
48. I personally think that the reason why DiDi Taxi is not called DiDi Taxi is that the latter sounds too much like a suona (a Chinese musical instrument).
49、小时候，在学校最害怕老师，最害怕请家长，最害怕同学说“我告老师去”。
49. When I was young, the things I feared the most at school were teachers, being asked to invite parents, and classmates saying, “I’m going to tell the teacher.”
50、你永远看不见我眼里的泪，因为你不在时我才会哭泣。
50. You will never see the tears in my eyes, because I only cry when you are not around.
51、减肥的最高境界：我到底有没有吃过东西。
51. The highest state of losing weight: I can’t remember if I have eaten anything.
52、当别人说你是疯子的时候，你离成功就不远了。
52. When others call you crazy, you are not far from success.
53、订婚前，像孙子，百依百顺；订婚后，像儿子，学会顶嘴；结婚后，像老子，发号施令。
53. Before engagement, you are like a grandson, obedient in every way; after engagement, you are like a son, learning to talk back; after marriage, you are like a father, giving orders.
54、钱很有用，却很不耐用；钱很难赚，缺很好花。
54. Money is very useful but not durable; it is hard to earn but easy to spend.
55、为了我的奥迪，你的迪奥，咱孩子的奥利奥。努力！奋斗！
55. For my Audi, your Dior, and our child’s Oreo, let’s work hard and strive!
56、世界上最美的事就是——吃饱了睡。
56. The most beautiful thing in the world is to eat and sleep.
57、把最后一瓶水留给人民，把那瓶橙汁给我……
57. Leave the last bottle of water to the people, and give me that bottle of orange juice…
58、我的钱包就像个洋葱，每次打开都叫我泪流满面。
58. My wallet is like an onion; every time I open it, it makes me cry.
59、最讨厌那些跟我说“你为何放弃治疗”的废话，搞得我好像还有救似的。
59. I hate those who say, “Why did you give up treatment?” to me, as if I still have a chance to be saved.
60、你住的城市下雨了，很想问你有没有带伞，如果没有带，希望再下大点儿。
60. It’s raining in your city, and I really want to ask if you have an umbrella. If you don’t, I hope it rains even harder.
61、都说边走路边玩手机不安全，吓得我开始跑着玩。
61. They say it’s unsafe to use a phone while walking, so I started running while using it.
62、在事实面前，我们的想象力越发达，后果就越不堪设想。
62. In the face of facts, the more developed our imagination is, the more terrible the consequences will be.
63、通往成功的路，我总是在施工。
63. The road to success is always under construction.
64、地铁上说禁止携带易燃易爆品，我默默下车了，因为我可爱到爆。
64. The subway says no flammable or explosive materials are allowed, so I quietly got off because I’m explosively cute.
65、专家称眼睛千万不要连续对着手机太久，那样手机会没电。
65. Experts say not to stare at the phone for too long, or it will run out of battery.
66、我的长相能让我安静读书到毕业。
66. My appearance allows me to study quietly until graduation.
67、上课睡觉觉，下课打闹闹，考试死翘翘。
67. Sleep in class, play around after class, and fail the exam.
68、考试就像雪碧，考前心飞扬，考后透心凉。
68. Exams are like Sprite: before the exam, my heart soars; after the exam, I feel chilled.
69、喝醉了我谁也不服，我就扶墙!
69. When I’m drunk, I won’t submit to anyone; I’ll just lean on the wall!
70、世界上最恐怖的事之一，就是跟害怕看恐怖片的人一起看恐怖片。
70. One of the scariest things in the world is watching a horror movie with someone who’s afraid of them.
71、都说强拗的瓜不甜，哥就喜欢吃苦瓜。
71. They say a forced melon is not sweet, but I love bitter gourd.
72、先别鄙视我，给你个号码牌，先排队，到你的时候再鄙视。
72. Don’t look down on me first; here’s a number, get in line, and we’ll see who’s laughing when it’s your turn.
73、俺从不写措字，但俺写通假字！
73. I never make typos, but I write pseudo-characters!
74、我能容忍身材是假的，脸是假的，胸是假的，臀是假的！！！但就是不容忍钱是假的！
74. I can tolerate fake bodies, faces, breasts, and butts, but I cannot tolerate fake money!
75、你长得很低调，活着怎么这么得瑟啊！
75. You look low-key, but why are you so arrogant in life?
76、寒假作业就是：你写一个月，老师写一个阅。
76. Winter vacation homework is like this: you spend a month writing, and the teacher just writes a “read”.
77、平时骂你就算了，非要等我打你，才知道我文武双全。
77. I can put up with you cursing me, but don’t make me hit you and show you my literary and martial talents.
78、在金钱和你面前，我毫不犹豫的选择了你，结果却发现，我是人财两空。
78. In front of money and you, I chose you without hesitation, only to find out that I’ve lost both.
79、一直认为人是立体的，做了地铁才知道，人原来也可以是平面的。
79. I always thought people were three-dimensional, but after taking the subway, I realized they could also be flat.
80、我的兴趣可以分为静态和动态两种，静态就是睡觉，动态就是翻身。
80. My interests can be divided into static and dynamic: static is sleeping, and dynamic is turning over.
81、钱太多了，就用不着考虑；完全没有钱，也用不着考虑了。
81. When there’s too much money, there’s no need to consider; when there’s no money at all, there’s no need to consider either.
82、一个成功的单身女人就是永远不需要男人，但身边永远不缺男人。
82. A successful single woman is someone who never needs a man but always has men around her.
83、当年也是个痴情的种子，结果下了场雨淹死了。
83. I was once a seed of infatuation, but then it rained and I drowned.
84、我中箭了，丘比特这兔崽子，下手真狠。
84. I’ve been hit by an arrow; that little rascal Cupid, he’s really ruthless.
85、黑夜给了我黑色的鼠标，我却用它游戏到天明。
85. The night gave me a black mouse, but I used it to play games until dawn.
86、早回家的男人，讲故事给老婆听；晚回家的男人，编故事给老婆听。
86. Men who come home early tell stories to their wives; men who come home late make up stories for their wives.
87、走得最急的是最美的景色，伤的最深的是最真的感情。
87. The most fleeting scenes are the most beautiful, and the deepest hurts come from the truest feelings.
88、啄木鸟靠一张嘴去消灭害虫，但有人却靠一张嘴去充当害人虫！
88. Woodpeckers use their beaks to eliminate pests, but some people use their mouths to act as harmful worms!
89、对感情不负责任的人分两种：一种是经常恋爱；另一种是从不恋爱，经常结婚。
89. People who are irresponsible in relationships can be divided into two types: one is always in love, and the other never falls in love but gets married frequently.
90、女人如果不对自己狠，男人就会对你狠。
90. If a woman is not tough on herself, men will be tough on her.
91、爱情，有时候脆弱的像一朵枯萎的玫瑰花，只有花形而无色彩。
91. Love, sometimes fragile like a withered rose, has the shape but no color.
92、别人周末足不出户是为了做宅男宅女，而我只是为了省钱。
92. Others stay indoors on weekends to be宅男宅女 (otaku), while I do it just to save money.
93、积极的人像太阳，照到哪里哪里亮，消极的人像月亮，初一十五不一样
93. Positive people are like the sun, shining wherever they go; negative people are like the moon, changing from the first to the fifteenth day.
94、眼泪的存在，是为了证明悲伤不是一场幻觉
94. The existence of tears is to prove that sadness is not an illusion.
95、男人有了烟，有了酒，也就有了故事；女人有了钱，有了姿色，也就有了悲剧
95. Men have cigarettes, alcohol, and stories; women have money and beauty, but also tragedies.
96、你以为最酸的感觉是吃醋吗？不是，最酸的感觉是没权吃醋。
96. Do you think the sourest feeling is jealousy? No, the sourest feeling is having no right to be jealous.
97、在神经的人群里呆久了，我发现我正常了。
97. After staying in a group of neurotic people for a long time, I found that I became normal.
98、猪有猪的思想，人有人的思想，如果猪有人的思想，那它就不是猪了，是八戒。
98. Pigs have pig thoughts, and humans have human thoughts. If pigs have human thoughts, they would not be pigs, but rather Zhu Bajie (Pigsy).
99、自从你不找我聊天以来，我的网速快多了。
99. Ever since you stopped chatting with me, my internet speed has been much faster.
100、世界最短武侠小说：高手被豆腐砸死了。我因为帅被女人抢死了！
100. The world’s shortest martial arts novel: The master was killed by a tofu hit. I was killed by women fighting over my handsomeness!
1、我的兴趣爱好可分为静态和动态两种，静态就是睡觉，动态就是翻身。
1. My hobbies can be divided into two types: static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, and dynamic is turning over.
2、刷牙是件悲喜交加的事，一手拿杯具，一手拿洗具。
2. Brushing teeth is a bittersweet event, holding a cup in one hand and a toothbrush in the other.
3、锄禾日当午，上学真幸苦，已进入学校，罚站一下午。
3. Hoeing the field under the midday sun, going to school is really tough, and once entering the school, I have to stand for the whole afternoon.
4、假如生活欺骗了我，那我也去欺骗生活。
4. If life deceives me, I will deceive life as well.
5、你让我下不了台，我让你连上台的机会都没有。
5. If you make me lose face, I will make sure you don’t even have a chance to get on stage.
6、思想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就证明你有。
6. Thoughts are like underwear; you must have them, but you can’t prove it to everyone.
7、一般般的我，一般般的亮。一般般的你，我看不上！
7. I’m just average, and so is my brightness. You’re average too, but I don’t think much of you!
8、地铁上的广告：挤吗？买辆车吧！出租车上的广告：赌吗？坐地铁吧！靠，忽悠我还是怎么着！
8. Subway advertisement: Crowded? Buy a car! Taxi advertisement: Gambling? Take the subway! Damn, are you kidding me or what?
9、自爱，必先自私，唯有自私，才能大爱。
9. To love oneself, one must first be selfish; only by being selfish can one achieve great love.
10、我平胸我骄傲，我为国家省布料。
10. I’m flat-chested, and I’m proud of it, for I save fabric for my country.
11、执子之手，将子拖走，子若不走，拍晕了继续拖走！
11. Holding your hand, I’ll drag you away; if you refuse to leave, I’ll knock you out and keep dragging you!
12、牛B中的战斗机，贱人中的VIP。
12. The fighter jet among badasses, the VIP among jerks.
13、肖邦，你要能弹出劳资的悲伤，劳资就给你一块钱。
13. Chopin, if you can play my sorrow, I’ll give you a dollar.
14、我们活着的大多数人，一辈子只做了三件事：自欺、欺人、被人欺。
14. Most of us, in our lifetime, only do three things: deceive ourselves, deceive others, and be deceived by others.
15、我不怕喝敌敌畏，就怕开盖畅饮，再来一瓶。
15. I’m not afraid of drinking敌敌畏 (a pesticide), but I’m afraid of opening a bottle and finding another one inside.
16、世界上最爱我的男人，已经娶了我妈。
16. The man who loves me the most in the world has already married my mom.
17、真正的境界是宁可自己去原谅别人，莫让别人来原谅你。
17. The true state of mind is to prefer forgiving others rather than having others forgive you.
18、不想看你不开心，却又嫉妒你和别人太开心！
18. I don’t want to see you unhappy, but I’m jealous when you’re too happy with others!
19、那些曾经泼过我冷水的人，我一定会烧开了还给你们。
19. Those who have poured cold water on me, I will definitely boil it and return it to you.
20、老师上课的质量，决定手机此月的流量。
20. The quality of the teacher’s class determines the monthly data usage of my phone.
21、你用温柔将我所有的菱角磨平，然后用尽全力伤我到死。
21. You smoothed all my edges with tenderness, and then hurt me to death with all your strength.
22、只有不可替代，你才不会被炒掉，但一直不可替代，就不会被提拔。
22. Only the irreplaceable will not be fired, but always being irreplaceable means never being promoted.
23、春天来了，绿意盎然，他也来了，一身绿装！md，连帽子也是绿色的！
23. Spring is here, full of greenery, and he’s here too, dressed in green! Damn, even his hat is green!
24、人们喜欢春风，厌恶寒风，其实寒风是无辜的，是温度在使坏！
24. People like the spring breeze and hate the cold wind, but the cold wind is innocent; it’s the temperature that’s to blame!
25、电脑是愤怒者的麦克风，深夜它传播着我们的骂声！
25. The computer is the microphone for the angry; in the deep night, it spreads our curses!
26、你鱼肉百姓，百姓就人肉你。
26. You exploit the people, and the people will expose you.
27、男人靠征服世界来征服女人！女人靠征服男人来征服世界！
27. Men conquer the world to conquer women! Women conquer men to conquer the world!
28、自从我变成了狗屎，就再也没人踩到我头上。
28. Ever since I became dog feces, no one has stepped on my head anymore.
29、今天听到一个八岁的小姑娘唱，两只老虎，两只老虎，谈恋爱，谈恋爱。两只都是公的，两只都是公的，真变态，真变态。
29. Today, I heard an eight-year-old girl singing, “Two tigers, two tigers, in love, in love. Both are male, both are male, how perverted, how perverted.”
30、就算再挫也要谈恋爱，谈到世界充满爱！
30. Even if I’m a loser, I still want to fall in love, until the world is full of love!
31、我谈过最长的恋爱，就是自恋，我爱自己，没有情敌。
31. The longest relationship I’ve ever had is with myself; I love myself, with no rivals in love.
32、看到有篇微博说道你自己是否愿意和自己谈恋爱。我纠结了很久，最后还是选择了不愿意。瞬间我再也不怪那些抛弃我的人了。
32. I saw a Weibo post asking if you would date yourself. I hesitated for a long time and finally chose not to. In that moment, I stopped blaming those who abandoned me.
33、你出来一下，我有事想跟你谈谈。”“谈什么?”“恋爱。”
33. Come out for a moment, I want to talk to you about something. “What about?” “Dating.”
34、一个妇女从超市回来，忿忿地抱怨：”如果顾客永远是对的，为什么不是一切都免费。
34. A woman came back from the supermarket, complaining angrily, “If the customer is always right, why isn’t everything free?”
35、春有百花秋有月，夏有凉风冬有雪。若无烦事挂心头，便是人间好时节。
35. Spring has a hundred flowers, autumn has the moon, summer has a cool breeze, and winter has snow. If no worries burden your heart, every season is a fine time.
36、老板，来一碗泪流满面。
36. Boss, bring me a bowl of tearful noodles.
37、有钱的人怕别人知道他有钱，没钱的人怕别人知道他没钱。
37. Rich people fear others knowing they have money, while poor people fear others knowing they have no money.
38、为什么你坐在那儿，看上去就像一个没写地址的信封？
38. Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without an address?
39、君子报仇，十年不晚，小人报仇，从早到晚。
39. A gentleman seeks revenge in ten years; a petty person seeks revenge from morning till night.
40、天上终不会掉陷饼，它只会掉陷阱。
40. The sky will never drop a pie, but it will drop traps.
41、白色加白色就是黑色，因为双重否定就是肯定。
41. White plus white equals black, because a double negative is a肯定.
42、我对你的感情就像雷锋对于穷人的怜悯。
42. My feelings for you are like Lei Feng’s compassion for the poor.
43、未来要和我结婚的那位：也不知道你现在给谁谈恋爱呢。别给人家浪费感情了、找个时间咱俩认识一下呗。
43. To the one who will marry me in the future: I wonder who you’re dating now. Don’t waste your feelings on them; let’s get to know each other sometime.
44、那个叫珍妮的女孩我不喜欢，我喜欢那个叫玛尼的！
44. I don’t like the girl named Jenny; I like the one named Manny!
45、一美女说：第一次牵我手的人是给我看手相的那个先生。
45. A beautiful girl said: The first person who held my hand was the fortune teller.
46、不是你不滚，是我不够狠。
46. It’s not that you don’t leave; it’s just that I’m not ruthless enough.
47、老师本想对同学们说把掌声送给自己，可不小心说成把巴掌送给自己。说完，一同学”啪”“啪”就给了自己两耳光。
47. The teacher wanted to tell the students to give applause to themselves, but accidentally said to give slaps to themselves. After saying that, a classmate “pa” “pa” gave themselves two slaps.
48、考题再复杂，终究没有我这心情复杂。
48. No matter how complicated the exam questions are, they are still not as complicated as my mood.
49、谁说水火无情，当你快要被口水淹死的时候，你却火了。
49. Who says water and fire are merciless? When you’re about to be drowned by saliva, you’re on fire.
50、如果我死了，我的第一句话是：老子终于不用怕鬼了。
50. If I die, my first sentence would be: I’m finally not afraid of ghosts anymore.
51、我这一生一共做错两件事，其一是生出来，另一是活下去。
51. In my life, I’ve made two mistakes: one is being born, and the other is living on.
52、别在我面前
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