1.大理石牌鞋垫，要脚不要脸。
1. Marble nameplate insoles, caring more about feet than face.
2.出来混，迟早会烦的。
2. If you mix in the world, you will eventually get annoyed.
3.打你就打你，还要挑日子吗？
3. If I want to hit you, do I still need to choose a day?
4.打个小麻将，吃个麻辣烫。找个小对象，生活就这样。
4. Play a small mahjong, eat some spicy hot pot. Find a small partner, and that’s life.
5.在这个什么都涨价的时代里，我突然欣喜地发现，空气没有涨价，反倒是料越来越多了。
5. In this era where everything is getting more expensive, I suddenly discovered with delight that the air hasn’t increased in price, but the ingredients have become more abundant.
6.迄今为止，三个苹果改变了世界:一个诱-惑了夏娃，一个砸醒了牛顿，一个握在乔布斯手里。
6. So far, three apples have changed the world: one tempted Eve, one awakened Newton, and one was held in Jobs’ hand.
7.挤在北京，给首都添麻烦了……
7. Being crowded in Beijing, causing trouble for the capital…
8.我就像一只趴在玻璃上的苍蝇，前途一片光明，而我却找不到出路。
8. I am like a fly on a glass window, with a bright future ahead, but I can’t find a way out.
9.大家都说我是个演员，是因为我一看见漂亮MM眼就圆……
9. Everyone says I am an actor because whenever I see a pretty girl, my eyes become round…
10.我床上的不知道是谁媳妇，我媳妇不知道在谁的床上！
10. I don’t know whose wife is in my bed, and my wife might be in someone else’s bed!
11.挤公车和地铁的时候，游刃有余。
11. Being skillful when squeezing onto public buses and subways.
12.要知道，对售货小姐说“有没有特大号的衣服”时，是一件很丢脸的事情;但是“这里的衣服都太肥了”却可以理直气壮地说出口。
12. You should know that it’s embarrassing to ask the salesgirl, “Do you have extra-large clothes?” However, you can say confidently, “The clothes here are all too fat.”
13.连汤加国王都命令全国减肥了。
13. Even the King of Tonga has ordered the whole country to lose weight.
14.遗传学淡定地告诉我们：跨物种恋爱注定是没有好结果的。
14. Genetics calmly tells us: interspecies love is doomed to have no good results.
15.月老啊！您能不要用山寨劣质的红绳给我牵姻缘？隔三差五断啊。
15. Matchmaker, can you please not use those counterfeit and low-quality red ropes to tie my marriage? They break every now and then.
16.何文轩曾对李清远说过一句话：你之所以还不是GAY，是因为还没遇到让你心动的男人。
16. He Wenxuan once said to Li Qingyuan: The reason you are not gay is that you haven’t met a man who makes your heart race yet.
17.呸！我耳朵都竖起来了，你就给我听这个？”
17. Ptui! I pricked up my ears, and this is what you give me to listen to?”
18.我无法拉伸生命的长度，但是我可以拓展生命的宽度。我胖了才显得你瘦，免得我瘦的时候显得你丑。
18. I can’t stretch the length of my life, but I can expand its width. I gain weight to make you look thinner, so that when I’m thin, I don’t make you look ugly.
19.我的读书生涯仅仅能做的两件事就是看学霸秀成绩，看情侣秀恩爱。
19. The only two things I can do during my school years are watching academic achievers show off their grades and watching couples show off their love.
20.咱们这个国度，人口资源丰富。但为何娶不到老婆的男人还是不计其数?是因为封建思想的束缚，打乱了男女的比例和数目，还是因为社会的退步，又重新开始了一夫多妻的制度?
20. Our country has abundant human resources. But why are there still countless men who can’t find wives? Is it because of feudal thinking that disrupts the ratio and number of men and women, or is it due to social regression, and the重新开始ed polygamy system?
21.冲动时我真恨不得变成动物，哪怕只是头卖力的牲畜。听凭主人的吩咐，不用感受做人的无助。或者干脆来个移花接木，彻底的做个变性手术。跑到人群中滥竽充数，也好让同胞们多一条可以选择的出路。
21. When I’m impulsive, I really wish I could become an animal, even just a hardworking beast of burden. To follow the orders of my master without experiencing the helplessness of being human. Or perhaps I could undergo a complete transformation and have a sex change surgery. Blend into the crowd and be a mediocre person, so as to provide my fellow humans with one more option to choose from.
22.光棍节到了，小鸟恋爱了，蚂蚁同居了，苍蝇怀孕了，蚊子流产了，蝴蝶离婚了，毛毛虫改嫁了，青蛙也生孩子了，你还在等什么呢?
22. Singles’ Day has arrived, the birds are in love, the ants are cohabiting, the flies are pregnant, the mosquitoes had a miscarriage, the butterflies got divorced, the caterpillars remarried, and even the frogs have had children. What are you waiting for?
23.街上的婚介星罗棋布。我也曾幻想著他们能帮我打开销路。然而最终的结果是让我明白了什么叫认贼作父，并被婚托儿们榨干了我几年的收入。
23. Marriage agencies are scattered all over the streets. I once fantasized that they could help me expand my market. However, the ultimate result was that I understood the meaning of “mistaking a thief for a father” and was drained of my income for several years by the marriage scammers.
24.众里寻她千百度，踏平脚下路。蓦然回首细环顾，大婶大娘无数。偶有美女光顾，还是有夫之妇，余下大多数，基本不堪入目。
24. After searching for her thousands of times, I treaded on the path beneath my feet. Suddenly looking back and taking a closer look, I found countless aunts and old ladies. Occasionally, a beautiful woman would come by, but she would already be married. The majority of the rest were simply unbearable to behold.
25.有个老太太都在缸里蹲半天了，多点时间让她透透气吧。
25. An old lady has been squatting in the jar for half a day, let her catch her breath for a while.
26.唱歌给我听，开心了就让你走。
26. Sing for me, and if it makes me happy, I’ll let you go.
27.在我尿频的时候你还在嘲笑我。
27. You were still mocking me when I was frequently urinating.
28.有些事，有些人，有些风景，一旦入眼入心，即便刹那，也是永恒。
28. Some things, some people, and some landscapes, once they enter your eyes and heart, even for a moment, become eternal.
29.逃得了和尚，逃不了方丈。
29. You may escape a monk, but you cannot escape the abbot.
30.现在生米都已经煮成稀饭了。
30. The raw rice has now been cooked into porridge.
31.唾沫是用来数钞票的不是用来讲理的。
31. Spit is for counting money, not for reasoning.
32.跟我打赌，不是看你要什么，而是看我有什么……
32. When betting with me, it’s not about what you want, but what I have…
33.你每天都和他们聊到半夜，他们哪有时间创造人类呢？
33. You chat with them until midnight every day; when do they have time to create humanity?
34.我肯定会被砍成薯片的。
34. I’m definitely going to be chopped into potato chips.
35.人生如戏，爱的是一个，结婚生子的又是另一个。很正常。
35. Life is like a drama; you may love one person, but marry another. It’s quite normal.
36.彪悍的人生是不需要解释的。
36. A fierce and powerful life requires no explanation.
37.好男人就是我我就是曾小贤。
37. A good man is me, and I am Zeng Xiaoxian.
38.你今天晚上必须给我上线，否则，我就把你名字写到碑上去。
38. You must log in tonight, or I will engrave your name on a tombstone.
39.说爱你，不一定是真的爱；说不爱你，那是真的一定爱过。
39. Saying “I love you” doesn’t necessarily mean true love; saying “I don’t love you” is truly proof of having loved before.
40.阿弥陀佛，出家人不打诳语。女施主，你的确是贫僧自东土出行至今所遇的，最美丽、最性感的女子，你看你这秀发，这玉手，这肌肤，这手感……
40. Amitabha, monks do not tell lies. Female devotee, you are indeed the most beautiful and sexy woman I have encountered since I embarked on this journey from the East. Look at your hair, your jade-like hands, your skin, and the touch of it…
41.我妈就生了我一个，你自己算算看我算老几呢。
41. My mom only gave birth to me, so you figure out my rank.
42.无聊对着电脑唱忐忑，唱完之后，电脑突然死机了。
42. Bored and singing “Taotie” to the computer, after singing, the computer suddenly crashed.
43.如果你是一个胖纸，记住不要围红色的围巾。不然你会很像QQ。
43. If you are a chubby person, remember not to wear a red scarf. Otherwise, you will look like QQ.
44.女施主，贫僧修为尚浅，还不能隔衣为你疗伤，得罪了。
44. Female benefactor, I am still a novice in my cultivation and cannot heal your wounds through your clothes. I apologize.
45.你等着吧，总有一天我会让你成为我未来儿子的妈妈。
45. You wait, one day I will make you the mother of my future son.
46.人活着是为什么？就为了那一张张伟大的毛爷爷。
46. What is the purpose of living? It’s all for those great Chairman Mao notes.
47.内练一口气，外练一口屁。
47. Cultivate your inner breath and outer fart.
48.能动手，就尽量别吵吵。
48. If you can take action, try not to argue.
49.能抗洪的尿布湿，才是真正的尿布湿！
49. A diaper that can withstand floods is a real diaper!
50.你穿的很危险，但长得很安全。
50. You dress dangerously, but you look safe.
51.非诚勿扰女嘉宾再牛也就灭一个男的的灯，宿舍楼下阿姨能灭一整楼的!
51. The female guest on “If You Are the One” can extinguish the light of only one man, but the aunt downstairs can extinguish an entire building!
52.一直对发型不满意的人，有一个共同点:不肯承认这是脸的问题。
52. People who are always dissatisfied with their hairstyle have one thing in common: they refuse to admit it’s a face issue.
53.我把所有的记忆串联成一部电影，一部悲剧就生产了。
53. I’ve strung all my memories together into a movie, and a tragedy has been created.
54.都说姐漂亮，其实都是妆出来的。
54. Everyone says my sister is beautiful, but it’s all made up.
55.挨饿这事，干得好就叫减肥;掐人这事，干得好就叫按摩;发呆这事，干得好就叫深沉;偷懒这事，干得好就叫享受;死皮赖脸这事，干得好就叫执著;装傻这事，如果干的好，那叫大智若愚。
55. Starving can be called dieting if done well; pinching can be called massage if done well; daydreaming can be called deep thinking if done well; being lazy can be called enjoying if done well; being shameless can be called persistence if done well; acting foolish, if done well, is called feigning ignorance.
56.友情就像花瓶一样，被人一捣鼓就碎了。
56. Friendship is like a vase, easily shattered when tampered with.
57.心中充满爱，看天下美女都是情人。
57. If your heart is full of love, all the beautiful women in the world are your lovers.
58.你走你的阳光道，我走我的地下道。
58. You take your sunshine path, and I’ll take my underground path.
59.起的比鸡早，睡的比猫晚，赚的比秃子的毛还少。
59. Wake up earlier than a rooster, sleep later than a cat, and earn less than a bald man’s hair.
60.装成熟、是往老里打扮的行为。
60. Acting mature is dressing older.
61.忽然发现自从我配了眼镜就不敢出门了。
61. Suddenly, I find that I dare not go out since I got my glasses.
62.好寂寞，连欲望都被我挣脱。
62. So lonely, even my desires have been broken free from me.
63.给我一双筷子。我可以吃掉整个地球。
63. Give me a pair of chopsticks, and I can eat the whole Earth.
64.出问题先从自己身上找原因，别一便秘就怪地球没引力。
64. When there’s a problem, look for the cause within yourself, don’t blame the Earth’s gravity for your constipation.
65.也因寂寞难耐，谈过几次恋爱。谁知屡战屡败，轻轻松松被踹！
65. Also because of unbearable loneliness, I’ve had a few relationships. But every time I failed, and was easily kicked out!
66.白天瞎JB忙，晚上JB瞎忙。
66. Busy all day for no reason, and still busy at night for no reason.
67.做一个徘徊在牛A和牛C之间的人。
67. Be a person wandering between A and C.
68.问：“我的头像牛B吗？”答：“像！
68. Ask: “Is my avatar awesome?” Answer: “Yes, it is!
69.老板，帮我理一个忧伤点的发型！谢谢！
69. Boss, please give me a hairstyle that looks more sorrowful! Thank you!
70.脸皮怎么那么厚，让猪皮情何以勘。
70. How can your face be so thick, making pig skin feel embarrassed.
71.美女眼前过，不泡是罪过。
71. When a beautiful woman passes by, it’s a sin not to flirt.
72.蓦然回首，你咋还没走。
72. Suddenly looking back, why haven’t you left yet?
73.恶人从不搞笑，恶人要抓紧时间做恶。
73. Evil people never make jokes, they need to seize time to do evil.
74.恶人说：再说俺是恶人，俺就害死你!
74. The evil person says: If you call me an evil person again, I will kill you!
75.不管多大岁数的人类成员，在钱面前，一概年轻。
75. No matter how old a human being is, they all become young in front of money.
76.鸭子太嚣张，兔子太多嘴，我是猪，我很乖。
76. Ducks are too arrogant, rabbits talk too much, I am a pig, and I am well-behaved.
1.我和脂肪做斗争，差点没牺牲。
1. I struggled with fat, and almost didn’t make it.
2.成人不自在，自在不成人。
2. Adults are not comfortable, comfort is not for adults.
3.爱你的时候，你是西施；恨你的时候，你是僵尸！
3. When I love you, you are Xi Shi; when I hate you, you are a zombie!
4.中华儿女千千万，这个不行咱就换。
4. There are thousands of Chinese people, if this one doesn’t work, we can change to another.
5.你是风儿我是沙，你是皮鞋我是刷，你不理我我自杀。
5. You are the wind, I am the sand; you are the shoe, I am the brush. If you ignore me, I’ll commit suicide.
6.炫富就像孔雀开屏，一心想展示华丽的外表，却被人看见了屁眼。
6. Flaunting wealth is like a peacock spreading its feathers, intending to show off its gorgeous appearance, but people end up seeing its rear.
7.我们只要有一颗自信心，神马都米有鸭梨。
7. As long as we have self-confidence, there will be no pressure like a duck with rice.
8.偷吃不是我的错，是我嘴巴的寂寞。
8. It’s not my fault for sneaking a bite; it’s the loneliness of my mouth.
9.世界上最遥远的距离，就他妈是星期一到星期五。
9. The longest distance in the world is, damn it, from Monday to Friday.
10.自从人晒黑了，脸色好看了，牙齿变白了，喝酒都不脸红了。
10. Ever since people got tanned, their faces looked better, their teeth got whiter, and they don’t blush when drinking alcohol anymore.
11.我掐指一算，发现你命里缺我。
11. I calculated with my fingers, and found that you lack me in your life.
12.一直对发型不满意的人，有一个共同点：不肯承认这是脸的问题。
12. People who are always dissatisfied with their hairstyles have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it’s a face issue.
13.原本想一口一口吃掉忧愁，不料却一口一口吃成胖子。
13. I wanted to eat my worries away one bite at a time, but unexpectedly, I became a fat person one bite at a time.
14.我喜欢的人，都在硬盘里。
14. The people I like are all inside my hard drive.
15.傻与不傻，要看你会不会装傻。
15. Being silly or not depends on whether you know how to pretend to be silly.
16.你不是VIP，甚至不是V，你丫只是个P。
16. You’re not a VIP, not even a V; you’re just a P.
17.挂个蚊帐在里面裸睡，挑逗蚊子，把它急死。
17. Sleep naked inside a mosquito net, teasing the mosquitoes and driving them crazy.
18.人生苦短，必须性感。
18. Life is short; we must be sexy.
19.从天堂到地狱，哥只是路过人间。
19. From heaven to hell, I’m just passing through the world.
20.把你家的地址说出来，我要把它改成公共厕所。
20. Tell me your home address; I want to turn it into a public toilet.
21.吃什么鱿鱼丝、墨鱼丝的，给我上点美人鱼丝。
21. What are you eating squid silk or cuttlefish silk for? Bring me some mermaid silk.
22.再丑也要谈恋爱，谈到世界充满爱。
22. No matter how ugly, we must still fall in love, so that the world will be full of love.
23.穷耐克，富阿迪，流氓一身阿玛尼。
23. Poor people wear Nike, rich people wear Adidas, and gangsters wear Armani.
24.抽，是一种生活艺术；找抽，是一种生活态度。
24. Smoking is an art of living; asking for a beating is an attitude of life.
25.众里寻他千百度，没病你就走两步。
25. I searched for him thousands of times in the crowd, if you’re not sick, just take a few steps.
26.每次临时抱佛脚的时候，佛总是给我一脚。
26. Every time I try to seek help at the last minute, Buddha always kicks me.
27.天上不会掉馅饼，因为我们不相信。
27. There are no free lunches, because we don’t believe in them.
28.我说这位壮士，你在我伤口上撒完盐，就别再尝尝咸淡了吧。
28. I say, sir, after you’ve sprinkled salt on my wound, please don’t taste it for saltiness anymore.
29.宁可胖的精致，也不要瘦的雷同。
29. I’d rather be uniquely fat than identically thin.
30.装逼只是瞬间，不要脸才是永恒。
30. Pretending is just a moment, but shamelessness is eternal.
31.您别看我长得像没头脑，其实我是不高兴。
31. Don’t look at me like I’m mindless, I’m just unhappy.
32.有一种爱叫放手，手放开后，请你快走。
32. There’s a kind of love called letting go, after you let go, please leave quickly.
33.不想叛师的徒弟，都是不成才的徒弟。
33. Disciples who don’t want to betray their masters are untalented.
34.男人的实力，就是你兜里的人民币。
34. A man’s strength is the Renminbi in your pocket.
35.瞧你这长相，不用化妆就能去演恐怖片了。
35. Look at your appearance, you can act in a horror movie without makeup.
36.没用的东西，再便宜也不买；不爱的人，再寂寞也不依赖。
36. Don’t buy useless things, no matter how cheap; don’t rely on those you don’t love, no matter how lonely.
37.作为一个吃货，吃东西并不代表我饿了，只是因为嘴巴寂寞了。
37. As a foodie, eating doesn’t mean I’m hungry, it’s just because my mouth is lonely.
38.先别鄙视我，给你个号码牌，先排队，到你的时候再鄙视。
38. Don’t despise me first, here’s a number card, line up first, and despise me when it’s your turn.
39.晚上想想千条路，早上起来走原路。
39. At night, I think of thousands of paths, but when I get up in the morning, I still follow the same path.
40.乞丐：大嫂，我两天没吃饭了，能给点儿蛋糕吗？大嫂：蛋糕？我这儿只有米饭。乞丐：要是平常也就算了，可今天是我的生日！
40. Beggar: Sister, I haven’t eaten for two days, can you give me some cake? Sister: Cake? All I have here is rice. Beggar: If it were ordinary days, it would be fine, but today is my birthday!
41.今天四级听力听得最清楚的一句：现在请监考老师把磁带拿出来翻到B面继续听。
41. The clearest sentence I heard in today’s CET-4 listening test: Now please ask the proctor to take out the tape and turn it over to side B to continue listening.
42.嘻嘻和哈哈是一对好朋友，非常要好的朋友。有一天，哈哈死了，嘻嘻很难过，他走到哈哈的坟前说：“哈哈，你死了。”
42. Hehe and haha are good friends, very close friends. One day, haha died, and hehe was very sad. He went to haha’s grave and said, “Haha, you’re dead.”
43.曾经有个小女孩在楼上对我说：哥哥你好帅啊!我当即回了句：不帅不帅、随便长的。
43. Once a little girl upstairs said to me: Brother, you are so handsome! I immediately replied: Not handsome, not handsome, just casually grown.
44.写什么写，就是写了你会信么？什么？你真信，你怎么那么幼稚啊！
44. What are you writing? Would you believe it even if I wrote it? What? You really believe it? How naive of you!
45.瞎子点灯，或许不是一种愚蠢，亦或是一种智慧，甚至气度……
45. Lighting a lamp as a blind man may not be foolish, but rather wise, or even magnanimous…
46.我故意学习，故意工作，故意生活，故意活得像个人！
46. I deliberately study, deliberately work, deliberately live, and deliberately live like a human being!
47.穿别人的鞋，走自己的路，让他们找去吧。
47. Wear other people’s shoes and walk your own path, let them search for you!
48.他们说我是BT，让我去做CT，结果我是ET。
48. They say I’m BT, asked me to do a CT, and it turns out I’m ET.
49.袋鼠：唉，没钱，口袋再大也还是鼠！
49. Kangaroo: Alas, no money, even with a big pocket, I’m still a rat!
50.乌贼：娘的，满肚子墨水居然也会是贼吗！
50. Cuttlefish: Damn it, having a belly full of ink and still being considered a thief!
51.青春就像卫生纸。看着挺多的，用着用着就不够了。
51. Youth is like toilet paper. It seems like there’s plenty, but as you use it, it runs out.
52.“老师，我想请假。”“你怎么了？”“我晕课。”“滚！”“谢谢老师！”
52. “Teacher, I want to ask for leave.” “What’s wrong with you?” “I’m dizzy from class.” “Get out!” “Thank you, teacher!”
53.每过一天，我就在日历上打个圈。到星期天的时候，才发现日子被我过成了省略号。
53. Every day that passes, I make a circle on the calendar. On Sundays, I realize that I’ve turned my days into ellipses.
54.你的人生，总结起来就八个字儿——生的荒唐，死的窝囊……
54. Your life can be summarized in eight words - born absurdly, die miserably…
55.哥们儿，瞧你这IQ……是加利敦（家里蹲）大学物理（屋里）系的吧？
55. Buddy, looking at your IQ… Did you study at Jia Liden (stay-at-home) University, Physics (indoor) department?
56.小子，今儿是怎么了？出门儿吃错药了？还是忘吃药了？
56. Kid, what’s going on with you today? Did you take the wrong medicine when you went out, or did you forget to take it?
57.你复杂的五官掩饰不了你朴素的智商！
57. Your complicated facial features cannot conceal your simple IQ!
58.金刚是脑袋被门夹了的笨蛋；你见过椰子树长香蕉么？
58. King Kong is a fool with a squeezed head; have you ever seen a coconut tree bearing bananas?
59.你不能让所有人满意，因为不是所有人都是人。
59. You can’t satisfy everyone because not everyone is human.
60.姐从来不抄袭，但没说不复制。
60. Sister never copies, but that doesn’t mean I don’t replicate.
61.失败是成功她后妈，看见孩子老失败也不帮她！
61. Failure is success’s stepmother, seeing the child always failing but not helping her!
62.别再逼我，再逼，我就在地上划个圈圈咒诅你被丑女强吻！
62. Don’t push me anymore, if you do, I’ll draw a circle on the ground and curse you to be forcibly kissed by an ugly woman!
63.我只为人民币服务，谢谢。
63. I only serve the Renminbi, thank you.
64.如果我死了，我的第一句话是：终于不用怕鬼了。
64. If I die, my first words will be: Finally, I don’t have to be afraid of ghosts anymore.
65.自从得了精神病，我的精神就好多了！
65. Ever since I got mental illness, my mental state has improved so much!
66.当你穿上了爱情的婚纱，我也披上了和尚的袈裟……
66. When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also donned the robes of a monk…
67.锻炼肌肉，防止挨揍！
67. Exercise your muscles to prevent getting beaten up!
68.如果回帖是一种美德，那我早就成为圣人了。
68. If replying to posts is a virtue, then I have long become a saint.
69.雷锋做了好事不留名，但是每一件事情都记到日记里面。
69. Lei Feng did good deeds without leaving his name, but he recorded every single one in his diary.
70.喝白酒一斤，我绝对没感觉，因为喝半斤就已经喝死了。
70. Drinking a jin (500ml) of white wine doesn’t affect me, because I’m already dead after drinking half a jin.
71.人人都说我丑，其实我只是美得不明显。
71. Everyone says I’m ugly, but in fact, I’m just not obviously beautiful.
72.老子不打你，你就不知道我文武双全。
72. If I don’t hit you, you’ll never know that I’m both cultured and martial.
73.我特别困的时候，道德标准也没有醒，老师们要小心了。
73. When I’m extremely sleepy, my moral standards are also asleep, so teachers should be careful.
74.笨男人+笨女人=结婚；笨男人+聪明女人=离婚；聪明男人+笨女人=婚外情；聪明男人+聪明女人=浪漫爱情。
74. Stupid man + stupid woman = marriage; stupid man + smart woman = divorce; smart man + stupid woman = affair; smart man + smart woman = romantic love.
75.上帝说要有光，我说我反对，于是，世界上有了黑暗。
75. God said there should be light, but I said I’m against it, so the world has darkness.
76.睡眠是一门艺术，谁也无法阻挡我追求艺术的脚步！
76. Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing artistic endeavors!
77.脸乃身外之物，可要可不要，钱乃必要之物，不得不要。
77. A face is an external thing, it can be discarded, but money is a necessity and must be obtained.
78.地理老师问：四大洋分别是那个？我答：喜羊羊美羊羊懒羊羊沸羊羊
78. Geography teacher asks: What are the four oceans? I answer: Pleasant Sheep, Beautiful Sheep, Lazy Sheep, and Boiling Sheep.
79.好累，想在后脑勺划一刀，然后瘫在地上装储蓄罐。
79. So tired, I want to cut a slit in the back of my head and collapse on the ground pretending to be a piggy bank.
80.爱情就像个响屁，高调的开始，低调的结束。
80. Love is like a loud fart, starting with fanfare and ending in silence.
81.黑夜给了我一双黑色的眼睛，可我却用它来翻白眼。
81. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I use them to roll my eyes instead.
82.照相是要抢时机的，刻意的永远不会好。
82. Taking photos is about seizing the moment; anything deliberate will never be good.
83.白加黑：白天踩一人，不瞌睡；晚上再踩一人，睡得香。
83. White plus black: Step on one person during the day, no drowsiness; step on another person at night, sleep soundly.
84.别打开礼物的缎带，最初充满期待，最后都腐败。
84. Don’t unwrap the gift ribbon, as it starts with anticipation and ends in decay.
85.将薪比薪想一下，算了，不想活了。
85. Comparing salary to salary, forget it, I don’t want to live anymore.
86.别惹我，否则我会让你死得很有节奏感。
86. Don’t provoke me, or I’ll make your death rhythmic.
87.老子不打你，你不知道我文武双全。
87. I won’t hit you, you don’t know I’m talented in both literature and martial arts.
88.你太矮了！借你望远镜吧，再看清楚点，我不帅吗？
88. You’re so short! Let me lend you a telescope to take a closer look. Am I not handsome?
89.我
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